My Ambition Feels Shy by the Recovery Time

Ever since Sunday, May 14th, I’ve felt pretty fragile. Still, one focus point I always keep with myself after a bastard seizure is quite simple enough: I’ll get past it.

Whether I’m really in need of some good music, film, artwork, or meditation… I’ve got to remain confident that I’ll pick myself up from what’s generally just been one ongoing week of my less able and duller mind. No, I don’t enjoy it.

I can’t deny that with the way everything pans out, some spells of my epileptic seizures just seem meant to be. How did it all start to stir on Sunday night? With a chest infection. I started coughing a lot, and with great, recurring swallows of flem at the back of my throat continuing, I failed to sleep until about 3.30 am.

After getting too little sleep during the night, I’m always a lot more likely to have a seizure. After ringing in sick, a pat on my back was also due, because Monday’s episodes (in fact, about 6 of them in a row) weren’t really the prettiest for people to deal with. I thank my mum and the paramedics for so suavely getting me to Wythenshawe Hospital, although I can’t deny that Salford Royal would have been a slightly better location to spend the night if I’d had a choice.

Coming out of there during Tuesday afternoon, I’d started my five days of anti-biotics three-times daily with my anti-epileptic drugs. As I’d been unconscious my mum was told by doctors that meningitis was a possible cause of my seizure. However, a chest infection passed on from a family member makes sense of everything now.

Moving on into Wednesday and Thursday, I took a couple more days off work. A different, less positive person is always born for a short while after I’ve spent time in the hospital. I can’t deny that I’ve been cut back from progressing with my personal blog over the past couple of weeks, with a variety of seizures meaning that my mind hasn’t been working so well.

But my mind can, and will, get better. I’ll get back down to writing the more articles I was planning during this month – and reckon I’ll spend next month doing more of the same thing too. It’s true to say I’m not under any kind of major pressure from anybody else to get this blog going – just myself.

I swear, I’m going to get more organised with my articles, get myself networking with more people, get myself more meditated and get myself on a good run of being seizure free.

It could take me a while to get things right as a writer, but if I keep working on my blog I’ll build up something good for people with epilepsy everywhere. Please, wish me luck…


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